SINGAPORE - American Idol (reject) William Hung arrived in Singapore two days ago to a 5000-strong reception. His publicists were relieved that, despite 2 hijacks and 4 kidnap attempts along the way, Hung managed to get his butt over to our bloody little island. Hung's visit to Singapore is the result of ardent fans setting up "Hung Camps" around the island. The fan club president, Mrs. Lim C. Tin (principal of a college that boasts of a fantastically blue-stripped tie - but she wants her college to remain unnamed) coos, "I'm so hung up over Hung!" This reporter was thoroughly embarrassed at this blatant display of support. What followed was worse. She started imitating Hung's dance moves in THAT audition, subsequently causing this reporter to laugh so hard she had to be brought to the hospital for a lung seizure. She is writing this in a C-class ward now.
By the fan club president's request, Hung arrived in SAJC yesterday. A bewildered Mr. Silas mistook Hung for a late student (he arrived at 10pm; imagine how terribly angry Silas was!) and gave him Detention Class (D.C.). Although the misunderstanding was cleared, Hung must still come back this saturday for the D.C. that he's been sheduled. 03A31's Miss Chuwen will be the guest D.C. student who will be accompany Hung for the entire D.C. session. She was thrilled when this reporter interviewed her via the phone, "I'm terribly happy. This really is a blessing in disguise! I must remember to take a photo with Hung. The badminton-playing principal will be so positively pissed. HAHAHHA." And then she proceeded on to sleep (my assumption, because Miss Chuwen stopped talking suddenly and loud snores were heard through the phone. This reporter silently cursed, although she could have cursed aloud. Miss Chuwen was sleeping anyway).
Moving on to the much-awaited Hung concert. It was held in the auditorium (which really is the only place for any such event). Hung swaddled into the audi to lacklustre applause. The audience was momentarily stunned by what they saw. The tv station that had aired American Idol 3 had airbrushed the real Hung. The real Hung, who was now standing before them, looked incredibly like their badminton-playing principal. When a student (in possession of an exceptionally big mouth) shouted, "Hey you look like our principal!" Hung was genial to a fault. He gave a tender smile, and then plonked his hands into his pockets in an attempt to look genuinely suave. "Yes yes everyone says that. We actually do look alike. Oh she's the president of my fanclu - OH shit did i just say that?!" Another stunned silence followed.
The concert lasted for less than 5 minutes because it never did happen. Hung sheepishly tore off "his" mask (made-in-China) and then the truth was out. The badminton-playing principal is Hung, and Hung is the badminton-playing principal! They're one and the same person. Bowing her head low, the principal begs, "Please dont tell the media about this. I want to be a star. Let me continue to be William Hung."
Suddenly there was this whole mystery about how she was there at the airport, receiving Hung. "Oh," the principal says, somewhat relieved now, "the Hung that walked out was a double. I bought an extra mask, you see."
~reported by r- ~
