tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60070012011-06-08T14:24:51.587+08:00Crapaper: The only news that concern us.inaccurate news. tilted arguments. totally hurtful. Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1112273206494647822005-03-31T19:51:00.000+08:002005-03-31T20:46:46.496+08:00Girls Alert!recently, there's been an outbreak of a new species of humans - Guys Awaiting Your Sympathy - or GAYS for short. this trend has been made worst with the singapore govt making National Service mandatory for all guys once they reach a certain age. Many have wondered why there is even the need for a defence force since singapore can hardly withstand a single bomb of military magnitude. Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1110390786722014062005-03-10T01:28:00.000+08:002005-03-17T19:17:02.816+08:00The Queen Never Dies.question: if william hill is a bookmaker, what would he make? no? it's definitely NOT books. He makes money! from who would win the US presidential elections, to who would win the election to become the US state of chicago's bushisagoodleader town's buffalomonkey university's head of department of lavatory cleanliness. from what britney spears would (not) wear to the grammiesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1109774106960739702005-03-02T22:28:00.000+08:002005-03-02T22:35:06.970+08:00HAHAHAHHA!!!! ;)enjoy the following article. goodness, i absolutely love satires. *short pause to reconsider* and british humour.this is not written by me, most assuredly, though i would aspire to do something similar with regards to our friendly neighbour "across the causeway" >:D HAHA! just kidding. im not as evil as SOME people. *laughter*read and be awed.“NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE”ensuihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15667541417808705661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1084805857705779032004-05-17T22:08:00.000+08:002004-05-17T23:03:14.706+08:00Just Talk?
"WHERE's OUR HALF DAY??" This seems to be the question on many of the SAJC students' - and teachers' - mind nowadays. As it was understood, there was always an unwritten promise of a half-day for every gold medal that was received by Team SAJC. No one knows where this "promise" came from, or whether it was still valid; but the general belief was that gold equals to an early release Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1082793546916789102004-04-24T15:59:00.000+08:002004-04-24T16:09:11.793+08:00beauty in a card
Singapore--Due the increasing number of people being increasingly concerned about the looks of the people they are about to meet, the government has decided to include a beauty quotient in every female citizen's identification card. This quotient will be from a range of 1(not worth looking) to 10 (can't get any prettier), and they are even considering the inclusion of up to 2 Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1078987873287622002004-03-11T14:51:00.000+08:002004-03-11T19:56:39.590+08:00Sinaporean: too smart to handle.
9th August 1965, Sinapore was separated from manaysia jus because of some tengku a-do ramen. He kicked Sinapore out of the federation on claims that Sinapore has far too many smart souls for him to feel secure in his own country. He decided that a separation shld knock us flat and perhaps when Sinapore phases out of the south-east asian equation, people would Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1077598919049374452004-02-24T13:01:00.000+08:002004-02-24T15:32:13.200+08:00SINGAPORE - American Idol (reject) William Hung arrived in Singapore two days ago to a 5000-strong reception. His publicists were relieved that, despite 2 hijacks and 4 kidnap attempts along the way, Hung managed to get his butt over to our bloody little island. Hung's visit to Singapore is the result of ardent fans setting up "Hung Camps" around the island. The fan club president, Mrs. Lim C. Rnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1074095142898368552004-01-14T23:45:00.000+08:002004-01-16T10:28:28.373+08:00Tales of the Deceitful.
This is a follow up of the previous article on JC2s student in SAJC doing whatever they can to get the JC1s to enrol in their respective CCAs. Our reporters had to go under the guise of a JC1 in order to truly experience the lies that were presented so nicely to them. Becoz of this, their identity would have to be kept secret. This is a first time account.
Student Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1073979329043802932004-01-13T15:35:00.000+08:002004-01-14T23:44:15.013+08:00Commitments Up for Grabs!!
Its another wednesday afternoon in SAJC, early release, late reporting, just quite the usual stuff...(it seems..) But while the college anticipates for the boring lessons to bore themselves away, another thing is on their minds. COLLEGE CCA ENROLMENT!! This could be the closest to a carnival to SAJC could come to not counting the ten thousand fund raising carnivals Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1073799711502040632004-01-11T13:41:00.000+08:002004-07-14T22:35:29.943+08:00Principal of S-AJC declares late start to school day on wednesdays
Mrs Lim C. Tin, principal of the infamous St Androgynous Junior College, declares that as of week 1, 2004, school will only start at 8.15am instead of the usual 7.25am. This move by the principal is justified as "giving the teachers a chance to meet up every week", however any student with the intellect to make it to S-AJC would Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1070882282849024922003-12-08T19:18:00.000+08:002003-12-08T23:06:43.086+08:00Ah-meng sayyaf Crushed!
The leader of top philippines rebel group ah-meng sayyaf was captured yesterday. He was believed to be the alpha male of the group of monkeys who go around killing people and engaging in "monkey business". These beast of the philippines specially target the europeans, americans and foreign travellers. Apparently they prefer "white meat", which explains why they refuse theUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1069959195430484632003-11-28T02:53:00.000+08:002003-11-28T02:58:55.603+08:00Cinema Reviews
Holiday period. Many movie production companies would choose to release their movie during this time. As movie-goers, we're often spoilt for choice. But more often than not, our choice would turn out to be a spoiler. So wat films do we go for? Our reporters have taken the trouble to watch most of the shows and hopefully provide an insight on wat show to watch if you were to visit Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1069592670318949502003-11-23T21:04:00.000+08:002003-11-23T21:13:43.090+08:00Interview with the Ghost
Today a boy-ghost was sighted at GV cinema. He was wearing an orange colored t-shirt and was walking with a hunched-back when the GV crew noticed him. Apparently he had tried to sneak into the cinema without any tickets, but he was caught eventually in cinema 6 of GV Loon Bay. The manager had a "hell of a time" questioning the boy-ghost as to why he wanted to watch such Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1068217907908842482003-11-07T23:11:00.000+08:002003-11-09T14:12:21.990+08:00Network Down
Loyal readers of the Crapaper might have noticed a break of 2 days without any articles being posted by our diligent reporters. This was due to the reporters getting food-poisoning after consumption of SAJC's bandung! When interviewed, Mr BB Yoong, a history teacher, commented, "its always been this way...the old woman stirs the syrups using bare hands and allowing her armpits to Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1068216983870336012003-11-07T22:56:00.000+08:002003-11-09T14:12:39.630+08:00 Before the brave suicide.
USA victory yet again..
This morning, USA once again proved that they have the bravest army around. As six more of the troops showed their loyalty and bravery today by killing themselves in a helicopter crash, USA begins to lead the Iraqis on the death toll! Along with the 6 soldiers, the US army also showed their depth, allowing a black hawk helicopter to crash as Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067953956615758962003-11-04T21:52:00.000+08:002003-11-04T21:52:39.103+08:00School Holidays Are "Good"
It is that time of the year again when the movies in the cinemas are all cartoons that attract the young and gullible. you're right! Its the HOLIDAYS!! Who could deny that this is such a good period of time for anyone out there with a sane enough mind to do the calculations.
(From various sources)
#During the holidays, student do not have to do their one-piece-a-day Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067870833297787292003-11-03T22:47:00.000+08:002003-11-03T23:18:03.990+08:00CONSPIRACY EXPOSED!!!!
This could well be the article to prove Crapaper's worth! This morning, reports from a covert source that was placed to spy on Badawi when he went into power provided crucial information that might have exposed the biggest conspiracy since Julius Caesar! While the espionage agent was intended to spot for corruption which was highly expected, he got more than what he Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067865187205234772003-11-03T21:13:00.000+08:002003-11-03T22:18:10.690+08:00Literature Dowager of SAJC publishes book to critical acclaim
Singapore, SAJC - The book by Ms. K.?.?., entitled "My Painful Confessions", was released last night, at exactly 10pm, where a Releasing Party was held under the void deck of Blk 285, Ang Mo Kio Street 23. The author, Ms. K.?.?. (also affectionately known as Swaggering Butt by adoring fans worldwide, from Ang Mo Kio to Bishan), holds Rnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067782176002158582003-11-02T22:09:00.000+08:002003-11-03T20:49:11.603+08:00News Flash: Principal of (St. Androgynous Junior College) SAJC Caught for Embezzling Funds
Singapore - The principal of SAJC, Mrs. Lim, was arrested last night at the front gate of her 4-storey bungalow for alleged embezzlement of college funds, of which she allegedly used to pay for, among other things, her badminton lessons and weekly hair-trimming sessions at a famous personal grooming centre Rnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067774471897231362003-11-02T20:01:00.000+08:002003-11-02T21:51:28.940+08:00THE PICTURE IS OUT!!!!
The most beautiful macdonald's crew ever to be spotted. A picture that'll give u another reason to visit macdonald's!! Her identity is still a mystery though, but jus admire her photo for the moment. Beauty fades. for all u noe...her pix might jus go bad. and grow old.
Speculations that her beauty is the result of eating macdonald's everyday ensure that the number of Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067688516640238282003-11-01T20:08:00.000+08:002003-11-01T20:12:34.263+08:00SAT test causes health problems, commitee looks into it.
The SAT test is a test student sit for. (after that they wld be considered having "sat" for the SIT test.) Its supposed to be a coloring course where 17-yr-olds learn how to color ovals with pencils. course fee of $80+ seemed a bargain, as hundreds Q to get enrolled. Many even decided to go for second try, after failing to learn the proper Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067616384486794112003-11-01T00:06:00.000+08:002003-11-01T22:20:13.430+08:00Heaven was great today. It sunned when kayakers were at sea. It rained when everything ended.
Classifieds:
Apologies:
(1) Mr ivan would like to apologize to his angel for excessive compliments, causing the blushes and the possible swollen head.
(2) a grp of frens wanna apologize for causing some trouble for a fren who fail to make it to east coast today.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067523916030746832003-10-30T22:25:00.000+08:002003-10-30T22:27:11.076+08:00Beautiful crew spotted at macdonald's!!
This morning, a very preety lady was spotted smiling at customers, taking orders from them. This rare phenomenon dispels all myths that the director of Macdonald's has a fetish for old and handicapped ah mahs.. with bad attitude and do nuttin all day long except trying to cheat us of our 1-minute-challenge apple pie. This gurl here, she could be the Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067488586182685972003-10-30T12:24:00.000+08:002003-10-30T22:26:55.826+08:00CLARIFICATIONS!!!
This paper is supposed to be very crappy, thus "crapaper". many in town are taking on a wrong pronunciation track...reading "crapaper" as kra-pa-per which is of coz not wat the great founder intended! it shld instead be crap-paper where the first 'p' is supposed to giv 2 consonant sounds! It was a very original idea! until the govt of a particularly small red-dotted nation's Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007001.post-1067439156157875402003-10-29T22:52:00.000+08:002003-10-30T01:45:25.046+08:00The epoch of the CRAPAPER. Many analyst are placing high hopes on tis audaciously blunt paper. will there even be a single visiter reader? one wonders...but on tis day, wondering is a waste of time, more "wonder"ful things awaits.
"wat are u planning tonite brain?"
"the same as everynight pinky..to take over the world!!!"
"where's ur evil laughter?"
"oh. that? MuaHaHaHaHa~~"
more coming your wayUnknownnoreply@blogger.com